Booze before lunch

I have always been afraid of alcohol.

My father's whole family, with the exception of him and his mom, drank, and drank themselves to an early, cirrhosis-induced grave. Grandpa, a hardened man who returned home drunk most nights to beat his wife and terrified 7 children, died at 62 of throat cancer, the result of drinking, combined with an evil pack-a-day habit of unfiltered cigarettes.

So it should be logical, then, that I have avoided alcohol for most of my life.

Until I had children.

That coincided with the findings that a little bit of booze is actually good for you. As long as you don't overdo it. According to the Mayo Clinic,

Moderate alcohol consumption may provide some health benefits. It may:

*Reduce your risk of developing heart disease, peripheral vascular disease and intermittent claudication
*Reduce your risk of dying of a heart attack
*Possibly reduce your risk of strokes, particularly ischemic strokes
*Lower your risk of gallstones
*Possibly reduce your risk of diabetes

I would add, it reduces the risk of being a grumpy bitch to your innocent children.

So today, at 11 AM, I did something unprecedented: took a small shot glass, gave it a sugar rim, and poured myself a couple of tablespoons of Herradura Seleccion Suprema, a very special bottle of fragrant, fine tequila that we brought back from Cancun.

I didn't even drink it all. I still have half left.

It did relax me, it did warm me up, and it did take the edge off the first day of what I know will be a very long two weeks. Because I love my husband with all my heart and soul. And while putting his previous night's T-shirt to my face to inhale his comforting scent may help, it still doesn't cut it.

Booze before lunchtime.

And alone, to boot.

I know it's OK-- but still, part of me freaks out and screams, "ALCOHOLIC!" even as I put the glass to my lips and sip.