I am in pain.

It is bordering on burning, and there is no way I can avoid lifting, especially when my little one is sick-- again. He just finished getting over his second bug, and the third one hit yesterday. Sneezing up a storm, snot all over, calling me "Baba."

Today, he wanted mama, and no one else would do. I got away with explaining that I can't pick him up right now, but that was only a few times. I lifted and cuddled and lifted some more. After I put him to bed and he cried and cried, I went in there and he said, "I'm not feeling well!" and put up those sweet little hands. What is a mama to do? Of course I picked him up and comforted him.

So, my back muscles are shot. My neck can barely hold up my noggin. I can't believe I am back to square one. I did my best to enjoy the weekend around the pain, but with my husband pretty sick, too, I had to ask for his help constantly (because otherwise, the poor guy just sat and tried to rest) and felt bad about not being able to do it all myself.

I did almost get frustrated. Almost.

But-- I can't seem to get angry or worked up anymore, when it comes to my kids and husband. It's really weird to be basically very happy. I almost feel as if I should not be so "laid back," but I am looking at life a new way these days. I focus on diffusing tension instead of getting caught up in it. When there is crying and fussing around me, instead of feeling my stomach clench, I cunjure up the wonderful Mexican beach where I found peace.

I am in pain. But I am happy.