Our anniversary turned out to be period hell. I spent half the day in a fetal position, bleeding and cramping so badly that it was pretty scary. I finally gave in and took Aleve again, even though I had decided to stay away from it. But when you are desperate and in pain, and you are scaring your family, you have no choice.

So, I took the pills, got dressed, and went to lunch. While it was wonderful, part of me just wanted to go back home and get back into bed.

I have made an appointment to remove my IUD. I do not know if that is what is causing the problems (the first time around, I had no issues with the Paragard) but I've got to take this thing out and see if there's any improvement.

The good news is, my back and neck pains are 98% gone. I had a little hip pain today, and that is it.

I think I'm good to go back to Pilates next week. I'd do the happy dance, but I'm too tired and headed for bed.

Very busy for the past few days, what with treatment appointments (feeling somewhat less creaky) the last day of school on Thursday, the first day of school for *both* boys coming up Monday, and my 24th wedding anniversary tomorrow.

Someone is coming to watch the kids from 12 to 4.

Oysters for lunch, anyone?

"HAPPINESS"

Wonderful day today, especially after 1PM.

Took both boys to the airport to meet their wonderful Dada.

In the evening, we had a fantastic family dinner for 8, including our nephew, 26 years old, who is a really sharp kid.

Coincidentally, today my new vanity plates came in.

They read, simply, "HAPPINESS."

Perfect timing, DMV.

He will be home tomorrow at noon

To My Dear and Loving Husband

by Anne Bradstreet

IF ever two were one then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife were happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor aught but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so perservere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

That's a lot of chips!

Q: How many pounds of potato chips do Americans scarf down each year?

A: 2 *billion*

"Dear Dada, Please Come Home"

He did this drawing all by himself.

Attention pregnant ladies! Happy apple news!

A University of Aberdeen project has found that pre-birth apples 'benefit babies.'Children of mothers who eat plenty of apples during pregnancy are less likely to develop asthma, research suggests.

They quizzed 2,000 mothers-to-be on their eating habits, looked at their child's health over five years, and found that those who ate four or more apples a week while preggo were half as likely to have an asthmatic child compared with those who ate one or fewer.

Fantastic! Makes me so happy to read that, because I ate plenty of apples while pregnant with each of my little miracles.

It's not about me.

What to do when someone hurts your feelings, deeply?

You turn to your family and friends who know what kind of person you are, realize that you have a lot of love and support, and remember that not everyone is going to respond positively to you.

I fear for my older son, who wants everyone to like him and approve of him and what he does. Just like his mama.

That character trait has caused me many disappointments in the past. I am trying to stop and think another way, to realize that it's not all about me and that the rejector has some sort of problem/reason that I can't know, or can't understand. And that the reason doesn't matter.

It's not about me.

For the most part, I succeed in realizing that , and it has made me a much happier person. But there is still a gut reaction of sadness and insecurity at first, when I encounter rejection. My parents never taught me how to deal with that -- probably because *they* were the primary source, and still are, to some degree.

How to teach my son to deal with this... I am somewhat stumped.

I don't know what to tell him the first time he comes to me with this issue. All I can think of is, "Not everyone is going to like you , and you won't like everyone."

But what on earth to say when he responds with the inevitable, "Why?"

Not much to report tonight.

A lot of pain. Every old injury I've ever had has flared up, just as the doctor predicted. I braved it without any pain killers, even though my darned lower back feels exactly like a toothache.

Unlike before, lying down hurts, too. Bah.

I'd rather talk about four reasons why I'm happy:

1) There are a few days left and my honey comes home to us

2) Boom got the teacher I wanted him to have for K4. A Russian lady-- she is fantastic. He will have a wonderful year.

3) My new Mooncup UK, smaller size, has arrived. Can't wait to try it.

4) Today I received 4 young ancistrus from a doctor who, as a hobby, keeps some wonderful fish.

My Real Age- Calculation Results

Today, August 14, 2007, your RealAge, ROSE, is 41.8!

Your RealAge was calculated by assessing over 100 different health factors, from lifestyle to genetics to medical history. The factors that are aging you, the costs, are counterbalanced by the things you are doing right.


Take the Realage.com test

Well, hell. I'll take that, especially when I had such a crappy X-ray evaluation at the chiropractor's today!

Last vertebrae show degeneration (degeneration!) spinal curvature is, I quote Dr. Z., "horrible." I have a touch of scoliosis, I have compression in my mid-back, plus bone spurs, and a crooked neck with more bone spurs. Oh, yeah, and an unbalanced pelvis, too. Woohoo!

No wonder everything hurts.

The good news: it can be managed, I can get to where I am out of pain, and if I take care of myself, it won't get any worse.

The bad news: I have to go to treatment 3 times a week for 8 weeks, and I can't exercise at all for a while. And, it's gonna hurt more at first, because he says things have healed improperly, and those adhesions have to be broken before we get them healed again, properly, so I can get some flexibility in my spine.

Maybe the rest of me is 41.8 My spine-- bah--I'm too sexy for my spine!

Right Said Fred, anyone?

Pass the waist trimming gizmos

Studies have shown waist size is clearly linked with heart attack, stroke and heart disease risk.

Even if people are not overweight, those with larger waistlines are more likely to show the early signs of heart disease than those with smaller waists.

Researchers used magnetic resonance imaging and electron beam computed tomography scans to look for early signs of clogged arteries and found a direct relationship between waist size and early indications of heart disease, regardless of the patients' overall weight.

The smaller a person's waist, the clearer his or her arteries were observed to be.

After accounting for high cholesterol, high blood pressure and other known heart factors, the researchers found that weight alone did not predict a person's chances of having early artery clogging.

Waist size, however, did.

Shit.

Movelat (did they intend to have it sound like Move a lot?)

While going medicine cabinet diving this afternoon, I found some Movelat cream that I brought back from Europe for my mom, who has a bad knee. Of course, she refused to even try it, and then moved to Arizona (um, not because of the cream) so here the unopened tube sat.

Today I tried it. I thought I was just imagining that it does work, but apparently, it is a topical prostaglandin blocker.

I am nervous about this prostaglandin blocker thing. Who would have thought that a chemical in your body that causes uterine contractions, pain and inflammation would also protect the stomach lining from acid damage and support the platelets and blood clotting?

The human body never ceases to amaze me. I should have gone ahead and tried for medical school.

Anyway... the hip is slightly better. But aside from taking the boys to the park this morning, I did almost nothing. Spent a lot of time off my feet. And even more time thinking about things I don't have time to write about right now, because it is my bedtime.

My little curly-haired alarm "clock" wakes up at 7AM sharp. I want to be rested and all smiles when I head, sleepy-eyed, to his crib.

Not-so-guilty pleasure

Laura's Wholesome Junk Foods should win some sort of prize.


I am in love with Xtreme Chocolate Fudge Bite-lettes.They do look like little dog shits, but I ignore that fact.



I found them at Whole Foods and now have at least 3 tubs in the house at all times.

Today I spent most of my time in bed.

This is unheard of for me, as usually, I only sit down when I drive. I rarely like to sit even to eat my meals, but I do it for the kids, most of the time.

But this Friday, I took Boom to tennis lessons, which he loves so very much, and then went home and fed the kids and the fish, and went to bed at 11:30, with Biofreeze on my sore spots. I watched Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and Great British Menu on the BBC, then dozed for an hour, my sweet, very happy cat by my side.

Right now, I am surfing the net while Stefan takes a nap and Boom watches TV.

At first, I was convinced I was going to go insane, but I am surprised to realize that I am enjoying this. I have not vegged like this (without having some sort of upper respiratory bug) since my pre-children days.

No pressure, just relaxation. Nothing to do, no one to take to school, no errands to run, no chores to do.

I am thinking of taking the kids to the basement to play this evening, while I do some sort of upper body workout.

The doctor said to stay off my feet. He did *not* say not to lift weights!

Doctor Z halts Pilates

The SI pain got much worse this morning and I went to see yet another chiropractor, the one who cured my sister-in-law's sciatica. Very thorough and knowledgeable (former anatomy professor) and he has been treating backs for over 20 years. The consultation and exam took over an hour.

Bad news: the SI joint is inflamed and I have some other mid-spinal and neck issues going on, which are going to require lots of ice packs and treatments 3 times a week. The first one is Tuesday at 10.

Here is the nearly impossible part: he said to stay off my feet for 2 weeks (GAH!) That means no walking and, of course, no Pilates.

So, I am going to have to cancel next week's classes. No yoga, either. The funny thing is that he suggested I need to lose about 30 pounds. Yah-- as if I didn't already know it. And how the heck am I gonna lose my 30 pounds if I am put on bedrest?

The good news: he said he had a patient with the exact same problem, who is now into kickboxing. He said he is confident that he can get me back to full-power exercise.

So, I will be doing a lot of reading to my boys.

And a lot of thinking about how absolutely blessed I am to have only a minor problem that isn't life-threatening.

'Cause lately, I have been thinking a lot about life, and the cards we each are dealt. How there are no guarantees, and how each day is a very precious gift to be savored and enjoyed.

I want to slow down time, and grab as much of it is as I possibly can. Make every day a joyous event, full of happiness and laughter and love.

I want to be physically and emotionally able to do things that delight, entertain and educate my sons. I want to tackle my problems with a positive outlook and a confident smile on my face.

And go to bed each night thinking that, yes, I *am* the mother I wish I had.

Roll out the barrel

Too tired to write much except to report that class was wonderful-- and a bitch-- today.

It boggles my mind that something that does not look strenuous at all can make you sweat bullets and have your muscles shaking as they try to do what is required of them.

Today I did barrel work. Tortu...err, exercise device is above.

Mari watches like a hawk. There is absolutely no cheating under her watchful eye, and every exercise must be done with precision.

Unfortunately, my back and SI pain are always there, always, always, always.

I am calling another chiropractor tomorrow. Oh, and the yoga lady, too!

"All this weight."

I have become fascinated-OK, obsessed- with fish.
I am now the proud owner of 30 betta tanks (yes, thirty) most of them 3.5 gallon, one 10 gallon, which I keep for quarantining new fish, and a wonderful 80 gallon stocked with peaceful community fish. Oh, and one 3.5 gallon that contains three dwarf African frogs.

I'm having a great time learning, and boy, there is a lot to learn. I also need to stay off Aquabid. I ended up getting betta from Thailand and Indonesia, all because of the temptation of that darned site.

Recently, on Aquabid, I came upon this listing, and became fascinated with discus. I found out that in the beginning, mama and dad discus keep their babies, called fry, on their heads (!) and produce a substance on their skin that the fry eat. When one parent gets too annoyed with this process, he or she shakes the fry off, and the other parent takes over for a while.

I keep thinking about this while my husband is away.

My fry are constantly on my head, LOL. I'm it-- no one to take them off for me.

Thank goodness I *have* to go see Mari, or else I'm sure I would stop exercising.

Today I so didn't feel like doing anything. Plus, I was so nervous and rushed, and I had a hard time concentrating. Ugh. I got into it halfway through the hour, but felt so scattered for the first half.

"Rose," Mari asked at one point, "have you been doing cardio?"

CARdio? Are you kidding? With this cough, and with all the 2 million things on my list?

"Um...no..."

"Well, if you do cardio, it will help you lose all this weight."

Groooooooooannnn.

Gimme a break, lady.

I'm really busy being a forkin' discus for two weeks.

Booze before lunch

I have always been afraid of alcohol.

My father's whole family, with the exception of him and his mom, drank, and drank themselves to an early, cirrhosis-induced grave. Grandpa, a hardened man who returned home drunk most nights to beat his wife and terrified 7 children, died at 62 of throat cancer, the result of drinking, combined with an evil pack-a-day habit of unfiltered cigarettes.

So it should be logical, then, that I have avoided alcohol for most of my life.

Until I had children.

That coincided with the findings that a little bit of booze is actually good for you. As long as you don't overdo it. According to the Mayo Clinic,

Moderate alcohol consumption may provide some health benefits. It may:

*Reduce your risk of developing heart disease, peripheral vascular disease and intermittent claudication
*Reduce your risk of dying of a heart attack
*Possibly reduce your risk of strokes, particularly ischemic strokes
*Lower your risk of gallstones
*Possibly reduce your risk of diabetes

I would add, it reduces the risk of being a grumpy bitch to your innocent children.

So today, at 11 AM, I did something unprecedented: took a small shot glass, gave it a sugar rim, and poured myself a couple of tablespoons of Herradura Seleccion Suprema, a very special bottle of fragrant, fine tequila that we brought back from Cancun.

I didn't even drink it all. I still have half left.

It did relax me, it did warm me up, and it did take the edge off the first day of what I know will be a very long two weeks. Because I love my husband with all my heart and soul. And while putting his previous night's T-shirt to my face to inhale his comforting scent may help, it still doesn't cut it.

Booze before lunchtime.

And alone, to boot.

I know it's OK-- but still, part of me freaks out and screams, "ALCOHOLIC!" even as I put the glass to my lips and sip.

D@mned cough is back

Spent the day coughing, drinking hot liquids to soothe my sore chest, and alternately cleaning fish tanks and resting in bed.


Exercise was out of the question.


I really hope tomorrow is a better day.


I need to be healthy, and I need to be strong.


Because I'm on my own for two whole weeks. No big, strong arms to envelop me at the end of the day. Only four little, needy, fragile arms, asking everything of me.

For some reason, this morning I researched flights to Vegas. My husband jokingly asked me if I was looking to run away. LOL.

Nope. Just ... looking.

I thumb my nose at tampons and pads

When I go to the store nowadays, I shake my head and sneer at the endless products in the feminine hygiene aisle. Not because I have entered menopause. That will not happen for a couple of years, going by my family history.

I have discovered the Mooncup UK.

I am no longer in period hell every few weeks. Bye bye, endless tampons in 3 sizes, pads of all kinds, fear of running out, of leaving lord knows what gross thing, or even applicator, for someone to discover in the trash. No more leaks, no more dryness, no more feeling of pressure from that awful tampon pushing on my cervix. My only regret is that I didn't find out about this wonderful invention until last month.

Yesterday, I put it to good use when I worked out with Mari for an hour. She is working me harder and harder. Had me doing push ups with my shins on an exercise ball, as in the above pic.

This, after various other positions seemed easy to me. Well, shin/ball push ups are evil. I squeezed out five.

By Tuesday next week, I intend to be able to do ten.